I needed a breather. We had saved enough cash to survive for a few weeks and we headed for the West Coast of USA. Let's leave out the tale of getting back into the states with the Green Mamba since we all know how that one goes. The two of us planned to do as much of the state as was possible in our short time frame of 2 weeks. There were more than a few disputes about what we were to leave out but for the most part I think we road tripped the shit out of that place.
We started in LA and were immediately shocked by its sheer size. We would later return to the city and we still did not have the faintest idea of where anything was. Daunted and a little intimidated we set out with notepad in hand to begin scratching off the to-do list (okay no notepad). First stop was Universal Studios; my compromise after refusing to go to Disney World. I've been to the place and unless you are below 12 or hold a pensioners card it gets a bit monotonous. In truth I was impressed by Universal. In the minutes we had in the park before we were stampeded by thousands of rabid children tearing towards the rollercoasters, it really was quite a spectacle. You've got to keep your sense of humour and remember that you really are a tourist and not in some way above that. And if you let yourself go with the relentless flow of Koreans, and have polarized-protection against the onslaught of flash camera's it actually is pretty interesting.
In the Universal Studios lot, (this is a parking lot, for humans outside the USA) we had a spontaneous decision thrust upon us. A brash and abrasive Tour Bus Driver, i.e. a true American ambassador, approached us with an offer we couldn't refuse. We were told that since his bus was only half full we could take the tour for half price, (about the price of a small property on Clifton). He threw out one attraction after the other like only some salty seadog can do with his bait. This man was sharp though, or should I say seasoned. A real salty dog. On spotting Sarah's Gucci handbag he tossed out the moneymaker: Rodea Drive. "The most famous fashion avenue on the planet, with the likes of Paris Hilton frequenting the store-fronts each day." She was hooked, and I had no chance of derailing that train. It was like whistling at a deer in the headlights- you're wasting your breath.
So off we went through the Hollywood hills, surrounded by Koreans that were now in hysterics and out of film. Thank god. We stopped in at Hollywood Blvd and did the ultimate tourist bit by taking pictures of the stars along the pavements. Michael Jackson's star was rumored to be somewhere in the depths of a crowd numbering a couple dozen- led, for some reason by the Koreans. They really are taking over the world, watch out. By the time the tour ended it was late and we were buggered.
After a day of full-blown tourism as well as terror we got back to the hotel and passed out. Our trip had barely begun and already we were being schooled to the fact that we were far from match-fit for this expedition. Time would tell.
NB Fact- Los Angeles residents are called Angelenos
NB Fact- Ricky Martin came out of the closet weeks after this picture was taken. He's still the steamiest man alive.
