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| suits optional.shirts too. |
If ever you want to feel like a rock-star, or meet one, this is the place to do it. You’re as likely to run into G-Dragon here as you are to end up shirtless and half-way up the stripper pole. The dance floor is always packed to capacity with young Koreans, all of whom will be better dressed, better looking and in considerably better shape than you will if you’ve fallen prey to the dangerous bar staff. If you’ve recently inherited a fortune you might like to try out the VIP section which will have you surrounded by film producers, K-Pop stars and half-naked angels - all making you feel far more important than you know you are.
Go there if: you’ve just been paid
Try: get to the top of the stripper pole.
Scrooges
There’s nothing like a giant poster of Schalk Burger in action to make you feel at home, and that’s what greets you as you climb the stairs to this unlikely rugby haven. Complete with resident Boerwors man who also sells biltong, there’s no place to touch this one if you’re looking to catch the game with fellow countrymen. The native tongue here is Afrikaans, followed by English and then Canadian.
It is also home to the Seoul Survivors rugby club. If you find yourself in their midst post-match you’ll either be subjected to a funnel, a punch in the nose or an initiation ritual. Head to the roof for a braai in summer ,or frostbite in winter.
Go there if: you want to watch the rugga
Try: the burgers
A heaving pit of sin that should be avoided by anyone hoping to emerge from its depths with all limbs intact. The dance floor and walkways serve only to lead victims up onto the tables – where distasteful smut dancing is the only thing that will save you from being thrown into the sea of unyielding heathens below. $10 will get you 7 tequilas or a bucket of poison that will send you into convulsions almost immediately after consuming it.
Go there if: you have nothing to lose
Go there if: you have nothing to lose
Try: getting out alive.
http://www.papagorilla.com/
http://www.papagorilla.com/
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| not much out there other than landmines |
More like the MZ, since it’s actually one of the most heavily militarized zones in the world, the no man’s land between cuddly South and hostile North is this country’s most popular tourist attraction. Feel the Western pride swell in your chest as a real life US navy marine seal sniper tells you that they’re here to babysit the two kids and that their resolve will not be compromised. He will also use cool words like threshold, red zone and flash point. Don’t make the trip for the scenery because there isn’t much of it. The experience is pretty eerie but basically you go because if you here, it’s the one that you have to do. The “I’ve been there” factor is off the charts and that is the real motivation.
Go there if: you’re looking for a unique experience.
Try: making it to the North Korea side without being shot.
The closest thing to an Asian Vegas, this rooftop pool attracts rock stars and porn stars alike each weekend. You won’t see a bikini without a set of heels to match, but you’ll probably see more man-thongs than anything else. Speedo’s are standard issue and if you’re considering sporting board shorts you may as well arrive in a Shalwar Kameez, because you’re going to look just as ridiculous.
Think twice about taking your girlfriend along, as you will be the scrawniest carcass in sight and the budgie-smuggling gladiators around you will love nothing more than to rub up against your bird and watch you squirm.
Find out when the season opens and go then, before the locals start their summer assault on the place.
Go there if: the ocean is a bit too far.
Try: the burgers
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| just wear the decor |
His name is not Johnny and neither is that of his establishment, but we’ve dubbed our favorite Mexican joint with the title anyway. This will probably be the smallest restaurant you ever visit but if the only table in the place is available, you won’t be disappointed. The chef/owner/visionary in charge is warm and chatty and will remember your name when you next visit. The eclectic collection of décor on the walls will tell you a story of the travels that he’ll be happy to share with you while he fries your nacho chips a few feet away.
Go there if: you’re on the fence about Mexican food. You won’t be afterwards.
Try: the surf and turf burrito.
If you were lucky enough to emerge from Papa Gorillas alive and with a few strands of sanity intact, then there is another challenge for you. Gangnam’s Monkey Beach is as just as depraved and probably more life-threatening/dangerous . Buckets here will cost you $18, but each one contains enough alcohol to take down a small beast. Once you’ve made your purchase, it is set down upon one of the tables and becomes part of the communal drinking trough (a date rapist’s dream, in any other country). The same table-dancing debauchery can be expected and after half a bucket you will be up there leading the charge.
Go there if: you’ve trained at Papa Gorilla’s.
Try: Long Island ice-tea bucket
Screen Golf
At some point in the last decade the connection made between Korea’s infatuation with the game of golf and a desperate lack of facilities to play it. Enter screen golf – rapidly overtaking Norabang as the country’s 2nd favorite pastime (after drinking). Arrive as skeptical as you like. By the time you leave you’ll be hooked, and probably drunk. Private rooms, top-of-the-line equipment and a game that is so real you’ll find yourself practicing at the range before stepping onto the first tee.
Get anything from pizza to strippers delivered while you walk down the 18th at Pebble Beach, and all for less than the price of a sleeve of Pro V1’s that you’d lose on the front nine in the real world.
Go there if: you don’t want to spend a month’s salary on a round at Incheon Golf Course.
Try: playing in teams.
